It’s normal to want to take care of your elder parents when they can no longer take care of themselves, and having them move in with you is a great way to offer support at all hours of the day. While this may seem like the right moral decision, it’s not always the best one, nor is it always viable. If you want to make sure this is the right decision for everyone involved, there are a few things you should consider before you decide to move in your elderly parents.
Do You Have the Time and Resources?
Depending on how well your parent can care for themselves or how much assistance they need, this may impact how much time and attention you need to spend with them. You then have to ask yourself how this will impact your career, if you have the time to take care of them, or if you have the resources to do so.
Maybe you don’t have enough space to take on another house member, or you’d have to sacrifice your job to care for them, which isn’t an option for everyone. The important thing is to have a frank and open conversation with yourself and everyone in the household about whether this is a practical choice.
Are You Able To Make Your Home Elder-friendly?
There may be certain modifications or changes you’ll need to make to your home to make it a safe place for your elder parent to live. You may have to add railings to stairs, remove rugs, add no-slip mats around the home, or make the bathtub more easily accessible.
However, these changes can go beyond the inside of your home. You may have to change or buy a new vehicle and consider the different kinds of accessibility vans. Your parent may need ramps to get into the home or have trouble opening locks on their own. The modifications you’ll need to make all depend on your parent’s specific needs and what you can realistically handle.
How Well Does Everyone Get Along?
Being family doesn’t automatically preclude you from disliking one another, and some parent-child relationships are toxic regardless of age. Sometimes, it’s easier for everyone to stay apart rather than live together in a situation that could cause undue stress that can impact everyone’s lives and health.
Of course, everyone will have conflict at one point or another, but if the conflict is constant, having your parent move into the home may not be the best decision. It’s not selfish or cruel of you to want a peaceful home, so don’t feel guilty about looking into other options if you feel like this may be an unhealthy choice.
Will They Be Able To Contribute and Follow House Rules?
Your parent’s ability to contribute or follow house rules is one of the most important things to consider before moving your elderly parents into your home. Understandably, you may not have the financial resources necessary to house and feed more people, so you need to ask them whether they’ll be able to contribute. If you don’t have the finances necessary to handle another house member, this new living arrangement can put everyone in a serious predicament.
You may also have particular rules that everyone needs to follow. Will your parent still be allowed to smoke or drink? Do they have a pet? Can they meet your standards of cleanliness? These considerations can all help you determine if this is the right move for you or if you should consider other options.

